


Virgin Stats

by Boysnextdoor



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alcohol, Drinking, Drunken Confessions, Enemies to Lovers, First Time, First Time Topping, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Pining, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, SoftKyluxKinks, Stress Relief, Tumblr: kyluxsoftkinks, Virgin Armitage Hux, virgin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 08:15:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18687625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boysnextdoor/pseuds/Boysnextdoor
Summary: prompt from softkyluxkink on tumblr: Hux has been single for his entire 34 year existence.  He doesn't even bother trying to flirt anymore since he doubts anyone would want to deal with his inexperience.  During an argument about battle strategy Kylo remarks that Hux needs to get laid so he can relax. Furious, Hux turns red and leaves the room. When he goes to find out what happened Hux drunkenly remarks on his virgin stats. Kylo agrees to become his wingman.  But watching Hux flirt with other people is harder than Kylo thought.





	Virgin Stats

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been reworked as I endeavor to improve my writing. With every fic I become more powerful, closer to my final form. Last update on 6/18/19.

Sometimes Kylo thought Hux was handsome and dignified, but this was not one of those times. Hux could be sexy accidentally (in his full uniform, on the bridge commanding, in the boots). Kylo even had a crush on him, once. Daydreamed about what was under the uniform. Imagined if the General was as stiff in bed as he was on the bridge. Or if he was into weird military bdsm stuff. Looked up weird bdsm stuff. Jerked off. But that was a long time ago, like a week ago. Right now Hux was annoying.

Kylo Ren and Hux were alone discussing battle strategy. It was deep into third shift now.  It was one of those projects that should never have been a “group project”. Nobody invited him, he overheard a minute detail during a larger meeting earlier in the day and made a big deal about it.

 

“Listen to me,” Hux was in hour three of a deep-scold. But go off, I guess.  Hux refused to accept Kylo’s argument, again. Hux had now memorized the stats about troops on the ground and fuel reserves.

 

Kylo really pitied anybody who had time to memorize all those numbers. “You need to get laid,” Kylo said as he pulled up the visual aid again, but Hux was weirdly checked out. 

 

The Grand Marshal had changed irreparably. For once Kylo preferred the scolding. This new mood was so much worse. It was like- 

 

“You okay?” Kylo asked. He asked because Hux was NOT okay. 

 

“I’m fine,” he said. “I’m too tired to teach you about military strategy tonight, Supreme Leader.”

 

Later that evening, after about thirty minutes of soul searching in his room Kylo decided that he could not and would not abide Hux holding a perceived sleight over his head.

 

Hux opened the door to his stateroom, drunk.  Kylo had seen Hux’s room before, once. Kylo had stormed in demanding answers but the encounter got real weird real fast.

This trip was a mistake. Kylo said nothing and walked inside. There was a half-empty bottle of bourbon on the coffee table in Hux’s room. Kylo watched painfully as Hux collapsed on the ice-blue sofa and refilled his glass. Hux was obviously intoxicated and overall Kylo was starting to feel like he was seeing something he should not be seeing. This was one of the coworkers he jerked off to sometimes, ya know? Some things just gotta stay sacred. 

“Why are you-“ Hux smirked into his glass. He was like- one shot away from completely unhinged. “Why are you like this? Can’t you just leave well enough alone?”

 

“Are you upset because of me?” Kylo asked.

 

Hux’s eyes turned red. He leaned back into the couch. Oh my god bro, please don’t start crying. Please, no. I don’t have the social skills to get out of this situation. 

 

Kylo attempted to make an apology without actually meaning it or admitting to anything, which made things worse. 

 

“It’s not your fault,” said Hux. But he said it to let Kylo know that it was definitely his fault. “You just- brought up some things for me.”

 

Kylo really wanted to leave. He wanted to get out of there so fucking bad. “I can leave- if you want.”

 

“It’s just- It’s just that,” Hux kept talking, despite Kylo’s attempts at extricating himself from this clusterfuck. Hux's hair was coming ungelled and his uniform was kind of unbuttoned. Kylo had always wanted to see Hux naked but not like this.

 

“I am afraid that I will be this way forever,” Hux groaned. “You know- in this- condition”. 

 

No, Kylo did not know. He was busy staring at the Grand Marshal’s unbuttoned uniform. He had wanted to bone down with Hux for years. He assumed that promoting him would come with favors. There were no favors so obviously the holoporns lied. And now he was a little turned on, but Hux was almost crying. 

 

“I have never-“ Hux laughed. “Your earlier comment. Yes, I really need to get laid. Before I die, preferably. But I’m not picky”.

 

Oh. OH.

 

“We can do it together?” Kylo suggested, hopefully. Desperately. 

 

Hux looked up at him. “What?”

 

No, not the reaction he was looking for. He attempted a recovery. “I mean- I’m Kylo kriffing Ren. I can be your wingman.”

 

“Wingman?”

 

“Assist in finding you-“

 

“Yes I know what that is. I meant- really? You think, that someone would want to- with me?”

 

Kylo tried not to eye Hux’s body too obviously, but damn. Yes, stupid. “Sure,” said Kylo. “I’m sure there is a guy for you.”

 

Hux sighed. “You assume I’m into men for some reason…”

 

“Is that a joke?”

 

“i mean, is it that obvious?”

 

“What do you think?”

 

“I don’t know!” the cat behind Hux stretched, obviously shaken by the sudden yelling, and jumped off the couch. “Are you into- lightsabers?” Hux made an obscenely crude gesture that was immediately catalogued into the spank bank.

 

“Maybe.. Is it that obvious?”

 

Hux went to pour himself another drink. A mistake. “Do you want some?”

 

Kylo waved it off, but he wondered what it would be like to be that uninhibited. He would say something like: “I think I might love you please can we fuck I wanna taste you so bad I jerk off to the skin above your collar.” So maybe alcohol was a bad idea.

 

Hux stared into the drink and unbuttoned another button on his collar. It was such a tease. Kylo swallowed hard because what if this actually happened tonight? 

 

“Alright, wingman,” Hux tried it on. It sounded strange, especially coming from him. “How do you get laid around here?”

 

No kriffing clue. Kylo had gone all the way once, maybe ten years ago, with some padawan. He had no clue. But he’d read some things. In people’s minds. 

 

“How do you feel about stormtroopers?” asked Kylo. 

 

Hux made himself comfortable while he thought about it. How DID he feel about stormtroopers? “I was thinking maybe someone accomplished, an equal?”

 

Of course. Kylo died inside a little because of course Hux would be interested in someone super accomplished and high up in the First Order. Someone unlike Kylo Ren. 

 

“Consider this person for a one night stand,” said Kylo. “Just to help you with your- condition. Not someone you would ever have to talk to again.”

 

Kylo thought to himself: “like me”. Except the “someone you would never have to talk to again” part. In his fantasies they moved in together and spent a lot of time doing mundane romantic stuff. Kylo would learn to like cats and Hux would learn more about lightsabers. Pun intended.

 

“I trust you,” Hux ran a hand through his hair, breaking up the gel. Kylo wanted to run his hand through Hux’s hair. “When are you available?”

 

“When do you want to do this?”

 

“As soon as possible,” Hux looked up at Kylo. “I want to lose it so- theres someone I want to ask out. After.”

 

Kylo died inside. He wanted to read Hux’s mind but it was hard when he was drinking. His thoughts were a mess. 

 

“I’ll comm you tomorrow,” said Kylo. “On a private channel.”

 

Hux tried to gather himself together. “Yes. Excellent.” Something about the finality of making plans shifted everything into focus. This was uncomfortable. For both of them. Alone, together, in Hux’s bedroom.

 

Hux seemed to be realizing that he was too drunk for this. “I must. I have to. It’s getting late. I have first shift next cycle.”

 

Kylo spent the next day gathering intel discreetly aka reading people’s minds. He had no kriffing clue how this was supposed to work. Okay, he had a vague idea. Other people’s memories. Most disturbing was the idea of watching Hux trying to pick up other guys. How was he supposed to just let this happen and be okay with it? 

 

He brought three liquor rations with him just in case. The troopers had an informal meeting on the lower decks where they would consume liquor rations and generally do things that were not allowed in the First Order. One of the Lieutenants on the bridge had extensive memories of coming to the lower decks without insignia in order to “blend in”. That was helpful. Kylo put on his best black tank top which did not help him blend in. Instead it was like a neon sign for a gun show. He chose a nice seat on the outskirts of all the troopers where he and Hux could scope out this fucking shit show. And it was a shit show. It was barely into third shift but a few troopers were already shirtless. Seriously? The fuckboy energy was overwhelming, from both the male and female troopers. 

 

“Haven’t seen you before,” one of the shorter troopers approached them. No thanks. Kylo gave him a death stare and Hux managed to somehow make himself even smaller. The trooper moved on. 

 

“So, we just…” Hux opened his liquor ration. Yeah. Mood. 

 

“Which one do you like?” asked Kylo. Might as well get it over with. 

 

“I’m not ready for that,” Hux awkwardly took another drink. “Let me finish this and then I’ll be ready.”

 

Kylo snatched away the liquor ration. “You’ll be no good if you finish this.”

 

Hux blushed at the implication. He was still shy about sex and it was adorable. Kylo tucked Hux’s dog tags back into his shirt. Kylo had talked him into wearing a black tank top to “blend in”, although it made them both uncomfortable. Hux’s hands lingered around his chest to protect against further violation.

 

“Do those say ‘General’ on them?” Kylo asked. 

 

“They don’t have my rank on them, if that’s what you’re getting at,” Hux straightened defensively. He was so slim without his uniform. 

 

Kylo scanned the room. If he was really going to be a wingman, and really let someone put their dick in his crush, he would do this right. Find someone safe-looking. Wait outside so he could make sure that everything was consensual. They had liquor rations which made them attractive to thirsty stormtroopers. A few potential candidates introduced themselves. Kylo eyed a tall muscular blond as a possibility. He was conventionally attractive and his surface thoughts seemed non-creeper like. Whatever that meant. 

 

The blond started telling a story about something they did with tie fighters a few days ago that was supposed to be impressive. Kylo did not think it was impressive but all troopers present talked up how cool it was. Kylo was definitely not jealous of the way that Hux’s face lit up listening to the heroic story. Whatever. 

 

“Were you the pilot?” Hux asked. Kylo suddenly keyed in to the conversation. The blond pilot was trying to pick up Hux. His friends were acting as wingmen by boosting his story. Kylo tried really hard to watch this but found it increasingly difficult. 

 

The blond trooper moved closer to Hux. Their shoulders touched. Kylo watched Hux react to the small skin contact. 

 

“Sorry,” Hux coyly apologized. 

 

Kylo watched the pilot move his hand to Hux’s lower back. This guy was good. His body type was a nice compliment to Hux. Kylo tried not to think about it. Was this attractive blond strong enough to fuck Hux the way he deserved? Would he be gentle and give him a good first time? Kylo tried to be positive but only found himself getting angry.

 

“Your friend is cute,” said another attractive trooper. Kylo turned to give a death glare because how dare this person talk to me? But you can’t stare down every guy who tries to hit on you. 

 

“Yeah,” was all Kylo managed. This trooper was hella cute. He had dark skin and was hella muscley, but not like too much? Kylo remembered his flirting skills were rusty, if he ever had any. He could probably fuck this guy if Hux ran off with the blond. 

 

“What do you do?” Asked the delicious chocolate stormtrooper. 

 

“Radar technician,” It was the only job besides ‘stormtrooper’ that Kylo could think of. 

 

For some reason the really attractive stormtrooper was not turned off by Kylo’s curt responses. “You’re pretty cute yourself.”

 

Kylo was shooketh. Flirting was okay if you got complimented! He self-consciously looked down at his body. Yeah, he was pretty cute!“Thanks.” Kylo attempted to return the compliment “You have a nice…everything.”

 

The trooper laughed. “Thank the stormtrooper training program. You’re the first radar technician I’ve met who has an eight pack.”

 

“Yeah,” Kylo lightened up because this was ridiculous. “Sorry, I don’t do this very often.”

 

He looked up to see the blond pilot running his knuckles down Hux’s shoulder. Hux gasped because he was probably flirting. His skin broke out in goosebumps. Christ, you could see his nipples through his shirt. Kylo shook his head at how easily the pilot was getting him. This was not fair!

 

“How long have you two been together?” asked the beautiful trooper who Kylo was slowly falling in love with. 

 

“We aren’t together,” said Kylo. “Just- coworkers.” God this was pathetic. 

 

“He’s my coworker,” the trooper gestured to the pilot. “And if you let him talk to your coworker, they will go home together. He does this all the time.”

 

“Fine,” Kylo growled.

 

“Okay. Because you’ve been staring at him all night.”

 

“Yes. Because I’m looking out for him,” Kylo was not even convincing himself. 

 

“Look,” the trooper leaned in. “I’m pretty sure you aren’t a radar technician. I can tell by the- everything - about you.”

 

Kylo froze. This was bad. “You should stop talking now,” Kylo dug his nails into his palms. The urge to smash a person’s skull was becoming overwhelming.

 

“I don’t want any trouble for me or my friend,” smiled the Trooper. “I’ve heard a lot of stories about people getting slammed into consoles or choked mid air. I don’t want that. That sounds like it sucks.”

 

Kylo nodded. “I want to put your friend through an airlock. After I break every bone in his body.”

 

“Yeah. It’s that look on your face. I can tell you are thinking about it.”

 

“A minute ago I was thinking about smashing his face into the ceiling.”

 

“Please don’t.”

 

Deep breathing exercises. Remember your coping skills, Kylo. “You are a good wingman,” Kylo looked to the trooper. “I won’t break your friend if he leaves now.”

 

The trooper nodded, because bro code. He grabbed his friend among great protest and left. Hux watched, crushed. He looked to Kylo for some explanation. Kylo gave the troopers their liquor rations as an apology.

 

“We’re going back,” said Kylo. “I’ll walk you to your room.”

 

Hux and Kylo were silent while they walked back to Hux’s stateroom. Every once and a while Kylo would look over at Hux, but Hux seemed disinterested. Maybe even angry.Which he had every right to be. The night had gone even worse than planned.

 

After the longest ever walk of all time, Hux silently let himself and a very disappointed Kylo into his stateroom. The cat came out of the bedroom then hid. Which was what Kylo wanted to do. Finally, he could find common ground with Millicent.

 

“Well thanks, I guess,” Hux sighed. Very dramatically.

 

“I-,” Kylo tried to phrase it so it didn’t sound kriffing dumb. “I realized I can’t watch you flirt with other men.”

 

Hux’s eyes turned red. “Why?” He asked in a shaky voice. “Am I that repulsive?”

 

“No,” said Kylo. “I’ve had unprofessional thoughts about you for a while. Watching you talk to other men is incongruent with my own personal interests.”

 

Hux was like about to fucking cry. “And what are your personal interests?”

 

“You. I want to be with you. I don’t care if it’s your first time, I didn’t even know- I know that you’re saving it for somebody and that we don’t have a great relationship...”

 

“You’re an idiot,” Hux growled. “I was saving it for you.”

 

Full stop. “What?”

 

“I thought you hated me,” Hux growled.“I thought that if I got more experience then maybe you would be-”

 

“That’s really dumb,” Kylo had no tact. “I’m not an expert. I lied. I’ve only done it once before.”

 

Hux shifted his weight. “Well. Would you like to be my first time?”

 

“What. Now?”

 

“Yes, you imbecile,” Hux looked at him hungrily. “Or did you drink too much?”

 

Kylo thought about it. The cat came out of the closet to purr at Hux’s feet.

 

“I think your cat wants to spend some time with you,” said Kylo. “Is it okay with her?”

 

“Is what okay with her?”

 

“If. If I,” Kylo was just now realizing that maybe he was a little shy as well. 

 

“If I let you into my bed?” smiled Hux. 

 

Kylo nodded. Then moved quickly to wrap Hux up in his arms and carry him to the bed. 

 

 

“Oh,” Hux leaned in towards Kylo’s strong arms. 

 

Kylo gently laid Hux down, and crawled on top of him on the bed. “Are you sure this is okay? I want you so bad but that doesn’t mean you have to say yes.”

 

“I’m sure,” Hux kissed up at Kylo’s mouth. “Kiss me”. 

 

Serious fooling around aside, Hux had his first time on the ice blue sofa in his stateroom. Kylo saw a similar piece in a holoporn once and it had become a central fixture of fantasies involving Hux. It was begging to be fucked on. 

 

Hux sat back, fully nude, and stroked himself to full hardness, which took about .0001 second. Hux was oddly comfortable despite being naked. Most likely the incredible excitement of his first time had distracted him from things that he would usually find embarrassing. He was so ready for this he was practically shaking. He was shaking. Kylo stopped moving his fingers inside himself to press a hand to Hux’s chest. 

 

“You okay?” he breathed. 

 

Hux looked down to the lube-wet mark right next to his dogtags. He nodded roughly. “Yeah. Yes. Yes I am.”

 

Kylo climbed into Hux’s lap. Hux took his hand off himself to avoid being prematurely-overwhelmed. He slowed his breathing, then looked up at Kylo. He seemed unsure of where to put his hands. Hux let them wander up Kylo’s thighs, then around his waist, before finally setting them down on Kylo’s firm thighs. He moved his fingers against the texture of Kylo’s skin, enjoying every new sensation. 

 

Kylo lined himself up onto Hux’s cock. The pressure was fantastic; tight in the best kind of way. It was good. Really good. Hux made a slow exhale that turned into a deep moan. Then talking. Then just swearing. Kylo watched Hux push his hips up to thrust even deeper. 

 

“Fuck,” Hux’s hips shuddered and he dug his fingers into Kylo’s thighs.

 

“Slow,” said Kylo. He moved down at a comfortable pace until Hux was all the way inside him. For Hux this was agony. He was powerless but in too much ecstasy to do anything. Hux made it through this process with a serious of groans and what sounded like squeaks. 

 

“Sorry,” Hux squeaked. 

 

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Kylo rolled his hips. “I like. I like the noises you make.”

 

“Fuck off,” Hux tried to push his hips up, desperate for more. For a pace that he could get himself off to. Kylo knew what he wanted. He enjoyed watching Hux’s skin flush and his chest heave. But he knew he would like it even more when he started actually moving, and he didn’t want it to be over too soon.

 

Kylo leaned back so he could roll his hips. Hux grabbed his thighs and moaned. Kylo kept moving at a reasonable pace while Hux seemed frozen, overwhelmed. Hux’s eyes followed the way Kylo’s muscles moved while he used his body to force his hips down onto Hux’s cock. Kylo realized he liked being watched. 

 

Hux’s breathing got heavy, and his hips started thrusting faster in an effort to go even deeper. Kylo leveraged himself so that he was hitting that sweet spot. 

 

“Yeah, like that,” Kylo held himself up to let Hux fuck him faster. 

 

“Stars,” Hux shut his eyes. He gripped Kylo hard enough that it might bruise. Hopefully.

 

“Don’t close your eyes,” Kylo whispered. And when Hux opened his eyes, that was it. Hux screamed. His neighbors were definitely going to hear and immediately be aware of the mind-blowing sex going on but whatever. Kylo grabbed his own cock and watched Hux fuck upwards through the spasms of his orgasm. Hux’s hands dug into Kylo’s thighs while his whole body twitched. Kylo felt himself get close just watching Hux get off. He felt Hux push deeper inside of him and felt the warm slickness of his come. Kylo moved his own hips in a frenzied rhythm until he was able to get off. 

 

Hux watched in a blissed-out state. “I can feel you,” he said. “Don’t stop.”

 

And he didn’t. Kylo continued to roll his hips through his orgasm. He finished mostly on Hux’s torso, which was beautiful. While he fucked him he watched the streaks land across his partner. Pity there wasn’t more of it. Kylo politely collapsed on top of Hux while they both caught their breaths. The sex had been good, actually better than expected. Hux was larger than his last partner. Kylo was excited about maybe even doing this again. If he should be so lucky. He started dreaming about the weight of Hux’s cock on his tongue. For another time.

 

To set the odds in his favor (doing this again instead of a one night stand), Kylo performed double extra aftercare for Hux. He started the shower and made sure it was the right temperature (real water, not the sonic). He gave Hux his space to hopefully reflect on the bomb ass sex and think about doing it again (Kylo refrained from intrusive mind reading because people tended to not like that). In the meantime Kylo picked up all his clothes and turned down the bed. When Hux got out of the shower Kylo staged it so it looked like he was preparing to leave. 

 

They stood awkwardly for a moment. Hux looked at Kylo, holding his belongings. Kylo looked at Hux, wet from the shower in only a towel. Hux opened his mouth like he was maybe about to speak. Nothing came out. 

 

“Would you like me to leave?” Kylo had practiced that line while Hux was in the shower. He wanted to sound neutral, like he didn’t actually care. He also mentally prepared himself for rejection. Instead painful desperation came across in his voice. 

 

“Only if you want to,” said Hux. 

 

“Do you want me to? What do you want?” Kylo asked, hopeful.

 

“I’ve never shared a bed before, either,” Hux’s skin reddened. He dropped the towel.

 

Kylo dropped his clothes. He might feel like a loser sometimes but right now he had everything. There was no way he was going home tonight. He did his best to be confident. He could feel his cock already recovering. 

 

“There’s a first time for everything”.

**Author's Note:**

> Come message me at tumblr! Give me a good kylux prompt @iambackgarbageblog
> 
> Please leave kudos or comment and subscribe to my profile. New fics every week


End file.
